Infidelity …

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to anyone.”

William Shakespeare

According to Billy the Bard, it’s impossible to be faithful to anyone or anything if you’re not faithful to yourself first.

Ask anyone who has cheated why they chose to stray, and they will shower you with a plethora of justifications.

“I didn’t feel loved. I wasn’t appreciated. I felt I was being taken for granted … blah, blah, blah.”

But at the heart of every infidelity is a person who wasn’t true to themselves.

Something was missing.

They wanted it, but they weren’t getting it from their “one and only.” No matter how hard they tried to deny their desires — no matter how hard they tried to pretend the status quo was hunkier than dory — the unexpected happened.

Another came along to stir feelings that had been dormant and denied for too long.

The silent cry had become so loud, that infidelity was the only option.

God knows they fought it, but eventually, they had no choice but to surrender.

And even though guilt always brought them back to their one and only, they always found a way to return to the lover that — until then — had existed only in their fantasies.

To justify their actions, they often quoted “I Won’t Tell a Soul,” Charlie Puth’s anthem to infidelity: “If no one knows, then it ain’t really cheating.”

But before moving forward, let’s pause for a moment to remember that …

Infidelity Is About More Than Sex

Let’s be clear. Infidelity is not about sex.  OK, maybe it is, but that’s not the type of infidelity we’re discussing here.

Sexual needs and desires can be easily satisfied. The needs we’re currently contemplating, however, are beyond the physical. They’re about connection, almost spiritual in nature. Once the soul’s sweet spot has been stimulated, the point of no return isn’t far behind.

There’s nothing you can do to stop it. So don’t even try because you’re going to fail.

Trust me on this one.

Infidelity is the delicious byproduct of a connection so strong, that you would risk everything to experience it again and again.

It blinds you to reality and takes you on a magic carpet ride through pleasures that can only be compared to a psychedelic trip through the land of explosive colors and euphoria. (Not that I’ve ever been on a psychedelic trip, but I have seen a lot of movies from the ’60s and ’70s, and I Googled it just now, so there’s that.)

Once you’ve tasted the deliciousness of having every fiber of your being awoken by an all-consuming sweetness, everything else is a bitter lemon you can’t spit out fast enough.

Consider yourself lucky if you experience this sweetness with your one and only.

If you’re not that lucky, I guarantee you will stray.

Again, trust me on this one.

How to Prevent Infidelity

Infidelity may seem like the most selfish act of all. But if you have never crossed the line, don’t be so quick to judge those who have. Don’t pat yourself on the back, thinking you are holier than mere mortals — those weaklings who gave in to their carnal desires.

So how do you prevent infidelity?

You can’t. It’s impossible to prevent a passion that’s carved into your DNA.

Sorry, that’s all I got. If you were expecting words of wisdom, look somewhere else, ’cause I ain’t got ’em.

The more you try to dampen your desires, the more you will fail. When the right one comes along, it will elevate your palate to unfathomable pleasures.

So, let go. Be true to yourself. If infidelity seems selfish, I give you permission to be selfish.

Is it risky?  You bet it is.

But the alternative is even riskier — living a life pretending all your taste buds have been satisfied when you haven’t given them the opportunity to taste all the flavors on the menu.

The Flavors of Infidelity

And now, to answer the question that has been churning in your mind while you’ve been reading this article.

Yes, I cheated, and I will cheat again — repeatedly.

Regrets? Not really. How can I regret having experienced a satisfaction beyond my wildest dreams?

But I would like to offer a public apology to the one I thought I’d be with forever.

My love, you were my one and only — you were there every time I needed you, a faithful friend and lover who gave their very best.

This isn’t about you. You didn’t fail. You gave me your all, and for that, I will always be grateful. You will find others who will love you the way I once did. I hope we can still be friends.

But Chocolate, each lick of the salted caramel ice cream from Azucar Ice Cream Company on Calle Ocho leaves me in such a state of heightened anticipation, that I can’t wait for it to have its way with me again.

As for those of you reading this, I hope you are fortunate enough to experience seduction by ice cream the way I did.

But keep your fantasies to yourself, and don’t even think of asking for a lick of mine.

Author: Barb Besteni

I've been in a writer long enough to know that change is not only inevitable, it's what keeps us going. Don't fight it, don't fear it. Embrace it and have fun.

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