Staying “On Purpose”

Florida Keys

Florida Keys – Copyright 2018 Barbara A. Besteni

A dear friend recently asked me how I was able to remain calm, despite all the craziness that life seems to fling at me on a regular basis.

I babbled something about taking it one day at a time, being grateful for everything, no matter how bad things seemed to be, accepting that I was on purpose, even when it seemed as if my purpose was to be confused, hurt and meaningless.  Blah, blah, blah.

Those were my surface answers.

But her question prompted some deep thinking on my part, both in my head and, most important of all, in my heart.  And here’s what she helped me discover:

I accepted a long time ago that God had a purpose for my life.  And as long as I lived every day trusting that I was “on purpose,” and listening to God’s guidance, I could relax, knowing that everything was just as it was supposed to be.

Yes, even the “bad” times are being used for the good of that purpose.

With the luxury of hindsight, I can see clearly that the times in my life when I’ve strayed from my purpose – when I decided that God was being just a bit too slow in getting to the point — I’ve been stuck, frustrated and unhappy.

But when I return to the Spirit of Guidance and follow Her lead, things turn around quickly and … purposely.

I’d be lying if I said that things were always that easy.

Sometimes, when the challenges seem overwhelming, my human nature attempts to throw it all away and pretend that God’s purpose for me doesn’t matter.

If truth be told … I pretend God doesn’t exist.

It’s then that I try to convince myself that this human life is all there is and thinking that life has a greater meaning — a greater purpose — is, well, a bit optimistic.

We’re born, we are here by accident, and we die.

But then something unexpected happens to remind me that the journey on which I am traveling is sacred.  And it sets me back on the path on which I was meant to travel.

Writing has always been part of my purpose.  In fact, it’s the biggest reason why I’m here.

The words I write aren’t mine.  They flow so easily, how could they possibly be mine?

I am merely a channel for the Higher Power who gave me the gift of … not knowing how to say what I mean … unless it’s written down.

I really suck at saying things on the spur of the moment.  I admire those who can come up with just the right combination of words to make an impact at the exact moment on which they are called to do so.

Me?  Not so much.

I think with my heart.  I try to let things go … but sometimes, not so much.

Sometimes I hold back a little bit of faith.  You know, just in case, faith is a something I should have given up on when I “grew up.”

It’s then that I get stuck.

It’s then that I try to look God straight in the eye, but realize I can’t because She’s so amused at my attempt to pretend She’s not there, that Her eyes are rolling in response.

And it’s not until I release everything to the God for which I am a channel that the lessons for which they came into my life in the first place become clear.

It’s then that my sense of purpose comes into razor-sharp focus.

It’s then that I am truly fulfilled.

What about you?  What were you put here to do?

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