What Do Sober People Do?

I had been texting with a friend who had read an article I’d published a few days earlier on how to stay fit and healthy for life.

“Good morning. I’ve been thinking about your blog and muscle,” she wrote. “I have never been able to build muscle. I really hate gyms, and I hate having equipment in the house. So is hitting the gym and lifting weights the way to go? Any other workouts you would suggest?”

My response stressed many of the things I had written in the article, and I added one suggestion that had made all the difference when I began my post-pandemic trek back to fitness.

“You’re going to hate this … less alcohol, which is nothing but liquid sugar,” I wrote.

“Already know it and trying to cut down,” she responded. “It’s the unkindest cut of all. Thanks.”

With that, the conversation ended abruptly.

It’s not the first time that has happened. Conversations often break down when I mention to someone that cutting down on their alcohol consumption could benefit their health.

It’s a sore spot that many are not willing to face. But as a former drinker who had mastered the fine art of deflecting any suggestion that I might be drinking too much, I am quite familiar with that sore spot.

I went about my day, forgetting about my friend’s text but meaning to check in with her in a few days.

Hours later, this question lit up my iPhone screen.

What do sober people do?

The Power of Alcohol: How Asking the Right Questions Can Change Your Life

At first, I laughed it off. But when I think back at my pre-sober life, I realize this was the question I asked myself every time I considered exchanging a cocktail for its mock version.

The answer kept me drinking.

Everyone who drank seemed so happy. I mean, just look at people at a bar. They’re smiling, laughing, hugging, talking loudly, and acting like they don’t have a care in the world.

And you don’t have to look far to see this “happiness” theme played out in advertising, articles, and trucks carrying bottles of wine and spirits to your neighborhood liquor store.

That Casamigos delivery truck with an image of George Clooney riding a motorcycle on the side sends a powerful subliminal message that’s impossible to overlook.

Drink. Ride a motorcycle. Be happy. Be like George!

It’s messages like these that keep people drinking.

“What do sober people do?” my friend asked.

“We do everything non-sober people do except we don’t drink,” I told her.

My response, however, missed the mark. It failed to address the underlying question I should have answered.

What Do Sober People Do That Those Who Drink Alcohol Don’t Do?

As a writer, I’ve never been good at thinking on my feet. It’s a superpower I wish I had. I often tell people that when God handed out the clever comebacks on the tip of my tongue talent, I must have stepped off the line to go to the bathroom.

Thankfully, my writing superpower is my strength, and it speaks louder than my spoken words.

Before ending my texting conversation with my friend, I told her the question had inspired my next article. That night, I wrote down the response my thinking-good-on-my-feet self would have given her.

Here, in no particular order, are the things sober people do that the formerly drinking me found almost impossible to do.

· Sober people think clearer.

· We do the hard work of facing challenges and life’s difficulties without alcohol’s crutch to lean on.

· We don’t let our alcohol-fueled emotions dictate our reactions; when they do, we stop them in their tracks before they derail us.

· We pick our battles.

· We know when to walk away.

· We recognize that surrendering is not giving up.

· We accept our humanity and forgive our mistakes, knowing they are lessons in disguise.

· We realize that if friends threaten our sobriety or it makes them uncomfortable, it’s their problem, not ours.

Most of all, we know that if someone asks, “What do sober people do?” It might be their first baby step to cutting down or stopping drinking.

We should respond kindly and compassionately. Because our answer is the key to the door they’re seeking to open.

…………

Read more about my sober journey here.