Cheating, Affairs, and Crossing The Line Between Serious And Satire

If the statistics for my articles are accurate, affairs and cheating are trending worldwide.

My sampling is tiny compared to Google’s mammoth trends and algorithms. Still, my article titled “Is It Really Cheating If No One Knows?” has generated the most views than any other article I’ve written since I began publishing on the Medium platform in March.

It has also generated the most comments and “hate mail.”

What this piece fails to address is that the partner who doesn’t consent to non monogamy is being wronged even if they never know. It’s probably more helpful and more ethical to advocate that people who are no longer satisfied with monogamy enter into consensual non monogamy rather than infidelity.

Rachele

Another reader chose my article to offer me and other cheaters advice: Come clean or divorce!

It’s funny how cheaters conveniently always forget they have two options when they’re unsatisfied:

1.) They can state their needs to their partner clearly and give them an opportunity to meet them.

Or

2.) They can divorce them or breakup with them.

I’ve been on both sides and I can say without a doubt that the cheating partner always has major shortcomings when it comes to communication. Why? Because it’s much easier to get lost in a fantasy world or a narrative of your marriage then it is to actually be truly vulnerable. Cheating is not a selfish act entirely. It’s also one of cowardice.

Shaun

Here’s the punchline: The article had nothing to do with cheating on a spouse or partner.

I Was Having An Affair With Ice Cream

I had recently discovered the wonders of salted caramel ice cream, and in the article, I confessed it had seduced me to cheat on my longtime “partner,” chocolate.

I had fun writing the article and thought I was being clever, but the feedback taught me a few lessons I’ll share with you at the end of this article.

After several back-and-forth messages with Rachele, asking her if she’d read the entire piece, she finally understood what it was about.

I have read it twice and I still missed that! 😆 😂. Shows you how sensitive I am to the partner cheating issue.

Rachele

Rachele took it all as good fun, but not everyone was as forgiving of my writing faux pas.

I don’t get it…is this seriously about ice cream? If so then it is click bait. I’m not even sure what to make of this other than I feel I have been cheated on by reading it.

John

Super annoying clickbait – “Satire” is the first tag that should have been used here. Wish I hadn’t clapped.

Meaghan

Waiting until the end to talk about ice cream isn’t humorous. Your article encourages people to embark on a journey that creates very serious issues. Issues that destroy lives and then makes light of them via ice cream. This article is shameful more than funny.

Becca

The headline had so triggered these readers, they had already reached a conclusion about the article before reading it. 

Clever writing is clickbait. But clever writing on a sensitive subject is insensitive.

I worked in the news business for almost 40 years. From day 1 in journalism school, I was taught to write headlines to lure readers into a story. 

But taken to an extreme, headlines often become the story. And that story is often inaccurate at best, and, at times, hurtful.

As a writer, you can educate and inspire your readers by addressing issues that matter to them in a funny, sarcastic, or lighthearted manner. However, you must also be careful not to offend, misrepresent, or trivialize the subject.

Sarcasm is an effective writing tool — one that I’m not willing to discard.  So instead of sentencing myself to a life of safe and politically correct writing, I devised a few simple steps to help me when writing about topics that might trigger readers in ways I had not intended.

3 Simple Tips For Poking Fun At Sensitive Topics Without Offending Your Audience

Here are the most valuable writing lessons the ice cream affair taught me.

• Give your audience a heads-up. I know what you’re thinking.

“If I give them a heads-up, my article will lose its punch.”

That may be true, but there are ways to warn your readers without sacrificing your creativity. A simple: “Now that I’ve got your attention! This article isn’t what you think it’s about!” puts the reader in the mindset in which you intended when you wrote the article.

Pay attention to the tags, keywords, and categories you apply to your articles. These determine where it will land on a Google search for the keywords it picks up.

• Put yourself in the reader’s shoes. Think about how your words will affect them emotionally, mentally, or morally. Be empathetic and compassionate, and anticipate any questions or concerns your content may trigger.

Be mindful of the tone, language, and imagery you use. Taking your reader down the rabbit hole of a beautiful scene could push them into past scenarios that caused them pain. Put yourself in their shoes, and write accordingly.

• Think before you satire. If your article is satirical — as mine was — consider how it will affect others. And if you’re poking fun at an event from recent history, ask yourself what every comedian since the beginning of funny asks before they joke about something: “Is it too soon to make fun of this?”

While these tips seem like a creative buzz kill, they can also make a difference in the credibility and respect you get from your readers. Shock value and biting satire might be your style of choice. And there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility for the fallout your articles may cause.

Your words will always offend someone. Just make sure that was not your intent when you wrote them.

As for me, I changed the first tag in my article from relationships to satire. I’ll keep you posted on the results.