Throughout our lives, we often hear sayings such as “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” “Silence is golden,” and “God gave you two ears and one mouth. So, listen twice as much as you speak.”
But how often do we take these saying to heart instead of dismissing them as cliches?
Take the one about sticks and stones, for example. More than 50 years since I first heard it, that saying pops into my head whenever someone utters an unkind word to me.
I am magically transported through time to Sister Agnes Amelia’s 4th-grade class in Brooklyn, and am once again an 8-year-old crying because my best friend called me stupid after I fell off the monkey bars.
Today, 1,300 miles and decades later, no matter how hard I try to remember that “words will never hurt me,” they still do.
Words are the most powerful weapons we have. “The pen is mightier than the sword,” and the wounds that words inflict fester long after the scars of an 8-year-old falling off the monkey bars have faded into the wrinkles of time.
Words Wound; Think Before You Speak
Why do you say to your significant other, “You never help me around the house!” when what you really want to say is … “I wish you would appreciate the things I do.”
Why do you call the cashier at the department store an “idiot” when what’s really on your mind is:
“I’ve had rough day. First, my boss gave someone else credit for something I did. My car needs new tires, and I don’t know how I’m going to pay for them. And just before I left the house, my dog pooped on the carpet, and I stepped in it.” (First world problems are a bitch, aren’t they?)
Saying what we mean can accomplish much more than merely lashing out in frustration. And if someone snaps at you, try reading between the lines of what they say instead of lashing back in a knee-jerk reaction.
Silence Is Golden Because It’s The Most Essential Part of Communication
Think of the people you consider to be good communicators. You may be surprised when you realize that they say very little.
A few years ago, I attended a wedding reception and was seated at a table full of strangers. There I met someone who, to this day, I consider one of the best conversationalists I’ve ever met. This person and I bonded immediately.
It wasn’t until a few days after the reception that I realized I knew practically nothing about him. You see, while I was chatting away, he listened intently to what I was saying. He spoke very little, but asked questions that showed he was interested in me.
He knew why God had given him two ears and one mouth. Thanks to that, we’ve been friends ever since.
Next time you’re at a loss for words, remember that the most effective response is often saying nothing.
Silence is indeed golden.
Trading Barbs With Barb 